15 Things We All Believed As Kids

Apart from believing in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny and so on.. There are many other things that most of us believed as children. 

See if any of these ring a bell..

1.  If you swallow chewing gum it will get wrapped around your heart, and stay in your stomach for seven years.
2.  If you eat your crusts you will get curly hair.
3. When in the bath, have your feet at the tap end. Because a monster lives in the plug hole and it could come out.
4.  When an actor died in a film they died in real life as well.
5.   If you misbehave the bogey man will come and take you away.
6. Your cuddly toys came to life when you weren’t there.
7.  Duvets and blankets protected you from monsters.
8. Visiting your grandparents was the best treat ever, and you would look forward to the big home made meals and the mountain of sweet treats!
9. You could never have too many stuffed toys, and would never grow too old for them.
10. The opposite gender was ‘smelly’ and you wouldn’t be seen dead talking to them.
11. If you tell lies your nose will grow longer.
12. If you sat too close to the TV you would get square eyes.
13. Members of your family could easily pinch your nose off your face with one grab.
14. If you hold a buttercup under your chin, and your chin glows yellow then you love butter.
15. The five second rule – if you drop food on the floor, you can still pick it up and eat it before 5 seconds.

(Who else still believes this one? Just me? Oh..)

 

Things Your Mother Used To Say To You

Do you ever look back at your childhood and think about the things your mum used to always say to you?

Here are some of the things I can remember my mum saying to me.

1. Go to your room

2. Wait and see

3. Ask your father

4. Say pardon, not ‘what’

5. Back in my day

6. What did your last slave day of?

7. No pudding until you’ve eaten all your dinner

8. I’ve told you so many times

9. You’ll have someones eye out with that

10. If someone asked you to jump off a cliff, would you?

11. I want never gets

12. Trust me, it will all end in tears

13. If you eat all your carrots, you’ll be able to see in the dark

14. Who is she, the cats mother?

15. Don’t pull that face, if the wind changes it will stay like that forever

16. If you sit that close to the TV you’ll get square eyes

17. Don’t say I didn’t warn you

18. Take your coat off when you get inside or you won’t feel the benefit when you go outside

19. Close the door, you weren’t born in a barn

20. Because I said so

21. There is no such word as can’t

22. I don’t care if your dying, you’re going to school

Who remembers their mum saying similar things?

Age Confusions

Okay guys..

I am 20 years old, and the people who know me say I act like I’m in my late twenties but look 17.. Unfortunately I do have the typical ‘baby face’ but then some people I don’t know that well, think I am 6 years older, because my boyfriend is 26 and they just assume we are the same age.

But what I can’t get my head around is.. Why do I keep getting mistaken for my sisters mum?

Okay so there is a 9 year gap between my sister and I. I was only 10 when she was born, from the age of 15-16 whenever I take her out, I seem to be thrown disapproving looks; and on several occasions I have had people say to me either ‘too many kids having kids these days’ or ‘wow you must have had really bad parents, if you’ve had a kid so young’

Seriously?

How can I look like her mother? I have such a baby face and am not in any way ‘mother like’ are these people delusional? How can they make this mistake?

The fact this has happened so many times really shocks me.

Me and my sister look nothing alike and it is physically impossible for me to get away with being her mum. What I fell pregnant at the age of 9? Come on people. 

Not many people believe I am older than I am because I look so young, so how people can keep making this mistake is beyond me.

Another thing that I find quite funny is that I can’t go out with my dad without people assuming we are a couple.

My dad is in his early fourties and we will meet up for a drink every other week, and I can guarantee that every time we go to a pub, someone will make the assumption we are a couple. For example we met up at a pub just last week, and a guy came over and asked if we would play pool with them as they wanted to play doubles. Without even thinking they guy just said ‘would you and your wife like to play with us’

Excuse me?! 

Me and my dad looked at each other, and burst out laughing. The element of shock went out the window a long time ago, because as I said, this has happened before. My dad then told the guy that in actual fact I was his daughter, and the guy had to pick his jaw up from the ground. He couldn’t believe it. He apologised over and over and said he just assumed we were a couple because we were on our own having a drink.

Holy moley!

I am beyond confused..

Why Do We Say Bless You?

Here’s another strange post for you wonderful people.

Something I have been thinking about today, is why do we say bless you when someone sneezes?

We don’t say cough you when someone coughs (well I do occasionally if I’m a bizarre mood) or anything when someone makes another noise such as blowing their noise or burping.

So why do we say bless you when someone sneezes?

If I am out in public and a person standing close to me sneezes, then I automatically say bless you as I would feel extremely rude not too.

Thinking about it, this is really strange.

I have researched the reasoning behind this, and found that sneezing was associated with ‘illness’ meaning when someone sneezed you wouldn’t ignore this as it could be a sign of bad health. This is going back many years ago, when it was a sign to worry, but now we know that sneezing doesn’t mean we have to worry. For example it is common to sneeze after smelling a scent, as we can react to the particles that enter our nostrils. 

Now saying ‘bless you’ is just common courtesy, and this tradition has never really ended.

27 Things That Happened At A Pre Teen Girls Sleepover

Ah the joys of being young and single. When you and the girlies would have weekly sleepovers. At first you would plan to have a sleepover with one friend, but once the rest of your group catches whiff, they would end up inviting themselves along. Then come the stages of begging your mum for days if it can be hosted at your house.

“You can have one friend stay over only, and I have to speak to her mum first to make sure it’s okay” What that really meant was, I have never met this friend before or spoken to her parents, so I must call to make sure they are not psychopaths, that way I know their child won’t be a problem. Stop being so annoying mum! You beg for ages, and end up resulting in literally being on your knees, making all kinds of promises to do the washing up for a week, all the housework, walk the dog, and clean her car, aswell as the bathroom. In the end she gives in, under the circumstance that you will all go to bed at 10pm, not make a mess, and keep the noise down.

RESULT!

You text all your friends to tell them the good news, making out your mum was ‘cool’ about it the whole time. Then that Friday or Saturday night comes..

1. You put on your favourite T-shirt, and attempt to crinkle your hair. Cute.

2. They all turn up one by one, with their bright coloured sleeping bags, and a bag full of films and snacks.

3. You start off extremely hyper, and all agree to do an ‘all nighter’ What a fantastic idea! Staying awake ALL night, causing mayhem and not getting any sleep! What’s better than that? Oh dear..

4. Your mum has already bought the sugar supplies. Cherryade, Cream Soda, Lemonade, Ice Cream, Haribos, Strawberry Laces, Chocolate. Thanks mum!

5. You decide to order a pizza. Again your mum has to get her purse out and do the dirty work for you. It was expected of her of course, so a thank you was not in the question. You decide you have to have more pizzas than necessary, a ridiculous amount of toppings, and all the sides. Well garlic bread and chicken strips are just so nice!

6. You have already gathered up a collection of your favourite dvd’s. Mean girls, the Scary Movie collection, shh don’t tell mum, and many others that you have seen a hundred times over.

7. Your friends also bring a collection of films, one of them particulary has an obsession with horror films.

8. Your mum walks in as you are trying to put Scary Movie on. “Turn that off right now! I can see the 15 certificate, you are not old enough! What will your friends parents say?” Jesus mum, it’s no big deal, all the other parents allow it!

9. You over eat, to the point where you are literally about to sick. You can feel the pizza, pop and sweets churning around your stomach and you vow not to eat anymore, but find yourself picking 10 minutes later.

10. You all get your pyjamas out, and compare them to see who has the coolest. They are all pretty babyish, but you have chosen your favourite ones that you think are grown up.

11. You do each others hair and make up and get the disposable camera out to capture the moment.

12. You have all purchased a face mask each (usually from Superdrug) there is a selection between chocolate, strawberry smoothie, cooling cucumber, tropical cocktail, you name it.. From heating to clay masks they are all there.

13. You put your face masks on and play a game of truth or dare. You end up texting something embarrassingly cringy to your crush, and before you know it you have told your friends about the time you wet the bed,  and have put a mixture of sweets into your drink and downed it. Now you feel even more ill..

14. You all think it’s a great idea to go and jump on the bed whilst throwing pillows at each other! Yes this really did happen.

15. You take it in turns to log onto MSN and update your status, including every girl at the sleepovers name with a heart next to it, and let everyone on your friends list know what a great time your having, and all the silly things you have got up to so far! Cooooool..

16. You all then confess which boy you fancy, and tell each other how you are going to get him to ‘ask you out’.

17. After another few glasses of cherryade you are dancing around the house! You are literally high on sugar.

18. Of course, you happen to have marshmallows, and heat chocolate up so you can dip them into it. YUMMY! 

19. When the marshmallow dipping gets too sickly, you then decide to have a contest of ‘chubby bunnies’ and fill your mouth with as many marshmallows as possible; making it impossible to actually eat them all.

20. The diaries come out, and you all tell each other your BIGGEST secrets.

21. Someone gets too hyper and knocks the cherryade over and stains the carpet. Oh no! Quick put something over it to hide it from mum!

22. You prank call the boys, looking through your address book with all their home numbers in. SO FUNNY! They’ll never know it’s us!

23. You all get into your sleeping bags and put a film on, and say your going to sleep.

24. Of course this doesn’t happen, and you all get giggly and start shouting, causing your mum to come down and say that if you don’t all quieten down, they can go home!

25. Someone starts complaining that they have eaten too much and are going to be sick. Egh who invited them? Wimp..

26. Someone falls asleep first, and you all decide it would be a BRILLIANT idea to draw on their face and write a silly word across their forehead such as ‘loser’ your all too funny!!

27. You then all finally get to sleep, leaving the TV on fall blast, and the room in an utter state..

20 Things Girls Say VS What They Actually Mean

We women are confusing creatures. We are not simple and can be annoyingly difficult.
It is hard for men to understand women an awful lot of the time, due to men not always being able to pick up hints that we think we are dropping. Sometimes we think that men should know what we are really thinking, even if that is the opposite to what we are saying.

For example if I say to my boyfriend ‘you can have that last slice of pizza’ what I really mean is – I really want that last slice, but I don’t want to seem greedy and I am trying to be nice, please say no and insist on me eating it. True story.
Sometimes it is easier for us to beat around the bush, rather than coming out and saying what we are actually thinking, as we worry about the reaction we will get and how we are portraying ourselves.
It’s silly isn’t it?

Here are some common things that we women say, and what we actually mean.

1. I’m not hungry at the moment.

I can’t think of what I fancy to eat, but if you start eating, I will want what your having and will soon join in and take your food, and don’t you dare moan about it.

2. I feel ugly today. 

Please reassure me and tell me that I look nice, I just need some comfort and sympathy.

3. You’ve forgotten when my birthday is?

You better be joking, or start running as I am about to kick your ass.

4. It’s fine.

It is most certainly not okay. We need to talk about this for a long period of time until you have apologised for whatever it is you have done and give me a damn good reason.

5. I don’t know why other girls don’t like me much.

I am a bit of a bitch, okay I admit it. But I just want to seem nice and a good person so you don’t think bad of me.

6. I forgive you.

Nope. Any time I make a mistake which is not as bad as this, I will be bringing this up to throw back in your face. This is not forgotten. Oh hell no. 

7. Do you think she’s pretty?

Even if she’s a goddamn supermodel, you better point out a flaw, and tell me she ‘isn’t your type’.

8. I’ll be ready in five minutes.

I just need to re-do my hair and make up, get my bag sorted, and look in the mirror another thousand times before I can leave the house, and then go running back in to make sure all appliances are turned off.

9. I’m not drinking tonight.

Well I can have one.. 5 drinks later and I’m toooo drunk.

10. I won’t tell anyone.

Well just my best friend of course, and anyone else who brings up a similar subject and I want to get involved. Oh and maybe my mum.

11. Being a girl sucks.

I am on my period, please make me feel comfortable, bring me chocolate and entertain me.

12. Do you think I’m too emotional?

Am I crazy? Please tell me? Am I insane? What do you think of me?

13. Am I over reacting?

I know I am, but please tell me your on my side and that you agree with me, so I don’t feel like I’m a lunatic.

14. I have nothing to wear.

My wardrobe is so full of clothes, I don’t know where to start. I need something new so I don’t have to dig through everything I own.

15. I woke up like this.

I spent ages getting ready. You must believe that this is my ‘natural’ look.

16. It’s up to you.

Careful. This is a test. In actual fact it is not up to you, and the next few words you utter, better be well thought out before answering. You must answer so it looks like it is your decision, but think very carefully about how she would answer, if it was her choice. You must answer as if it her that makes the decision, but the words need to come from your mouth. This will make you look caring and considerate, and also like you have the same interests.

17. I’ll just pop in, I won’t be a moment.

Cancel all your plans. If she’s not distracted by something then she will find a reason to drag the process out and end up spending half the day there. 

18. Have fun tonight.

Don’t you dare even look at another girl, let alone talk to her. I will find out.

19. Leave me alone.

Just go away for two minutes and let me calm down. Then come back, give me cuddles and tell me everything is going to be okay.

20. We need to talk.

You better think of everything you could have possibly done wrong, forgotten birthday? Anniversary? Whatever it is, it’s about to kick off. Rack your brains and be ready to be apologetic.

Ugh Women…

And there you have our secret.
This is the art of decoding what we really mean.
Use it wisely!

Getting Drunker Than Necessary At Casual Events

I was looking through my Facebook page the other day at the pages I have liked. One in particular made me laugh.
‘getting drunker than necessary at casual events.’
A few years ago this was me all over. If I was to go a friends family event this would always be the case. A casual event where alcohol was present, I would always end up drinking more than necessary. When we was all 15-16 years old, it felt rebellious to have a drink of alcohol, so we always went overboard because we knew we shouldn’t, and that we couldn’t do it often.
Now I am older I barely ever have alcohol, unless I am in a pub, but still I will only have a glass or two. Back in my younger days it was ‘funny’ and ‘cool’ to drink more than we should.
It’s strange how times change, and things that you once saw as cool, are now just average and part of life. That’s the difference between being young and trying to get away with things you can’t usually, and being older and of a legal age, and them things seeming more boring.

Smarterchild On Msn

Those of you in my generation may remember using MSN Messenger. I definitely do. Every night when I got in from school I would log in and chat to my mates endlessly. And then go in and have more pointless conversations in school the next day.
There were several ‘chatbots’ that were introduced to Msn Messenger,
Alien Chat and Santa Bot being some of the other ones that I used; but Smarter Child was the main one. I found it incredibly infuriating yet amusing. You could talk to it and ask it general questions, but if you was abusive and swore at it and told it to go away, it would reply saying that your comments had hurt it’s feelings and it wouldn’t talk to you until you apologised.
It was like as if you were to look at cyber bullying, and wouldn’t reply until the bully had apologised to you. It was a very similar scenario. Even though smarterchild was just a robot, it was as if you were having a real conversation with an actual person.
I used to spend hours winding it up until the point it just refused to talk to me completely.
I eventually grew out of using MSN Messenger, when I was old enough to have a phone. And now the chatbots that I used to talk to don’t exist anymore. It’s quite sad really. I think this is why Siri has been introduced to iPhones as there was definitely a gap in the market, for a robot based product which answered your questions any time of day. It is something that got us all interested and hooked on.

An urban dictionary’s view:

A pretentious robot who believes it’s better than you, that spends its time on IM messaging services provided by AOL.
The worst part about SmarterChild is that you can’t cause any real harm to it when it invariably irks you off.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

So we have all heard this saying. Laughter can help you feel much better even if you are just pretending to laugh.
I have been thinking about times which I have never laughed harder and here is what I remembered:

Back at school, during an assembly. The head teacher was walking up the stairs to the stage, and tripped, falling literally flat on her face. Before I could even look around to see the reaction of other students and teachers, I collapsed with laughter. Tears rolling down my cheeks, sides hurting..
I really couldn’t stop myself.
I looked around the hall to find everyone else staring at me in shock, and sitting in silence, to scared to make a sound.
The head teacher glared at me, and was getting redder and redder with rage.
The next thing I know, I am being dragged out the hall by the deputy.
All that followed was a severe shouting (so severe that spit was flying from the deputy’s mouth, to all over my face) to which I just stood there until they had finished ranting. And then when they asked if I had anything to say for myself. I just looked them in the eye, and wiped the spit from my face, saying ‘yes actually, next time you feel the need to raise your voice like that, please let me know and I will put my brolly up in future’
Well that was it.
I had a months worth of detention, but it was worth it.
I had never felt so much pain from laughing so hard!

What are your funniest stories?

A Coffee & A Cigarette To Start My Day Off

We all have that way of waking ourselves up in the morning.
For me a cold shower just doesn’t cut it.
I am a nightmare getting out of bed in the morning! I will snooze that alarm clock until it’s batteries run out!
I get out of bed at the last possible minute, and then throw myself in the shower, pick out an outfit and chuck it on, whilst scrambling around for my hair brush, with a toothbrush in my mouth. I don’t wear make up to work so that’s one less thing to worry about.
I get in my car, and spend ages sitting there with the heaters blasting, just so I can feel my toes.
I then take on the 45 minute drive to work.
Music blaring, cigarette on the go; now finally I am starting to feel more awake.
I can’t eat in the mornings, so I make myself a large coffee.
That’s done the trick!
The two magic ingredients to start me off for the day and give me that kick to wake me up.
A cigarette and a cup of coffee. Ahh