20 Things Girls Say VS What They Actually Mean

We women are confusing creatures. We are not simple and can be annoyingly difficult.
It is hard for men to understand women an awful lot of the time, due to men not always being able to pick up hints that we think we are dropping. Sometimes we think that men should know what we are really thinking, even if that is the opposite to what we are saying.

For example if I say to my boyfriend ‘you can have that last slice of pizza’ what I really mean is – I really want that last slice, but I don’t want to seem greedy and I am trying to be nice, please say no and insist on me eating it. True story.
Sometimes it is easier for us to beat around the bush, rather than coming out and saying what we are actually thinking, as we worry about the reaction we will get and how we are portraying ourselves.
It’s silly isn’t it?

Here are some common things that we women say, and what we actually mean.

1. I’m not hungry at the moment.

I can’t think of what I fancy to eat, but if you start eating, I will want what your having and will soon join in and take your food, and don’t you dare moan about it.

2. I feel ugly today. 

Please reassure me and tell me that I look nice, I just need some comfort and sympathy.

3. You’ve forgotten when my birthday is?

You better be joking, or start running as I am about to kick your ass.

4. It’s fine.

It is most certainly not okay. We need to talk about this for a long period of time until you have apologised for whatever it is you have done and give me a damn good reason.

5. I don’t know why other girls don’t like me much.

I am a bit of a bitch, okay I admit it. But I just want to seem nice and a good person so you don’t think bad of me.

6. I forgive you.

Nope. Any time I make a mistake which is not as bad as this, I will be bringing this up to throw back in your face. This is not forgotten. Oh hell no. 

7. Do you think she’s pretty?

Even if she’s a goddamn supermodel, you better point out a flaw, and tell me she ‘isn’t your type’.

8. I’ll be ready in five minutes.

I just need to re-do my hair and make up, get my bag sorted, and look in the mirror another thousand times before I can leave the house, and then go running back in to make sure all appliances are turned off.

9. I’m not drinking tonight.

Well I can have one.. 5 drinks later and I’m toooo drunk.

10. I won’t tell anyone.

Well just my best friend of course, and anyone else who brings up a similar subject and I want to get involved. Oh and maybe my mum.

11. Being a girl sucks.

I am on my period, please make me feel comfortable, bring me chocolate and entertain me.

12. Do you think I’m too emotional?

Am I crazy? Please tell me? Am I insane? What do you think of me?

13. Am I over reacting?

I know I am, but please tell me your on my side and that you agree with me, so I don’t feel like I’m a lunatic.

14. I have nothing to wear.

My wardrobe is so full of clothes, I don’t know where to start. I need something new so I don’t have to dig through everything I own.

15. I woke up like this.

I spent ages getting ready. You must believe that this is my ‘natural’ look.

16. It’s up to you.

Careful. This is a test. In actual fact it is not up to you, and the next few words you utter, better be well thought out before answering. You must answer so it looks like it is your decision, but think very carefully about how she would answer, if it was her choice. You must answer as if it her that makes the decision, but the words need to come from your mouth. This will make you look caring and considerate, and also like you have the same interests.

17. I’ll just pop in, I won’t be a moment.

Cancel all your plans. If she’s not distracted by something then she will find a reason to drag the process out and end up spending half the day there. 

18. Have fun tonight.

Don’t you dare even look at another girl, let alone talk to her. I will find out.

19. Leave me alone.

Just go away for two minutes and let me calm down. Then come back, give me cuddles and tell me everything is going to be okay.

20. We need to talk.

You better think of everything you could have possibly done wrong, forgotten birthday? Anniversary? Whatever it is, it’s about to kick off. Rack your brains and be ready to be apologetic.

Ugh Women…

And there you have our secret.
This is the art of decoding what we really mean.
Use it wisely!

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A Hidden Meaning In The Teletubbies?

We’ve all seen the teletubbies. Come on admit it.. I used to watch this daily when I was young. I don’t know what it was, but it really did make me laugh. It was the hoover – ‘noo noo’ that tickled me the most. The way it’s eyes used to move about and the way it just sucked everything up. I don’t know, it just had me in fits of laughter. Looking at it now, I can see why it would scare children. It looks quite freaky. Then there’s the tubby custard! The teletubbies obsessed over this and it became a major part of the show. We would expect it every time we tuned in. The show was funny for children but looking back now it had some serious hidden meanings. As it turns out, the program was at the centre of a controversy when in 1999 it was claimed that Tinky Winky, was a homosexual role model. This conclusion was based on the character’s purple colour and triangular antenna; both the colour purple and the triangle are sometimes used as symbols of the Gay Pride movement. Tinky Winky also had a red handbag that he carried around everywhere. Which seemed funny to children as male characters would not have handbags as this is seen as a ‘girls’ item. I agree with this statement, that Tinky Winky was a character made to show children that it is not unusual for a male to show these characteristics, and that it is okay to be different. It’s not weird and the other teletubbies accepted him for who he was. Tinky Winky was also the largest and oldest of the teletubbies. Dipsy was another male character, who was green and his face was noticeably darker than the others. The show has stated that this was to do with race and that Dipsy was meant to be black. Again, this is another way of the program showing diversity and equality. Dipsy was the most stubborn of all the characters and wouldn’t always go along with their plans. Dipsy’s item was a cow print hat that he used to wear. Po was the smallest and youngest of all the teletubbies. She was red and always carried her scooter around with her. She spoke in a very soft, baby like voice. The show’s creators said she was Cantonese, and as such, she is bilingual, speaking both English and Cantonese. Laa laa was yellow and loved to sing and dance. She had a big orange ball that she used to play with. This character was very sweet and loving as she looked out for the other characters. When I was a child la laa was everybody’s favourite character due to the personality that the show created for her. She was caring and comforting – things we all look for in people in our lives to provide trustworthy relationships. Her caring attitude led her to be most people’s favourite character. So already we have established diversity in race, and sexuality. Who would have thought a typical kids show would have this message hidden? I think the show was actually quite clever in the way all the teletubbies were different, yet were all a close group of friends, that helped each other. This is me reading way too much into the show itself, but is the truth behind it all.

Lies About Your Own Body

Should we believe everything we hear?
Here are just some of the things that we have been led to believe are true when in actual fact, they are not..

1. There is no actual cure for the common cold. It is a virus that is ever changing, and antibiotics will not help.

2. If you wake a sleepwalker, it is not ‘dangerous’ as we have been led to believe, it just confuses and startles them.

3. Experts say that we have at least 7 senses, and maybe even more than 20! So not the five that we have been told.
Two other senses being:
The vestibular system which explains the perception of our body in relation to gravity, movement and balance. The vestibular system measures acceleration, g-force, body movements and head position. Examples of the vestibular system in practice include knowing that you are moving when you are in an elevator, knowing whether you are lying down or sat up, and being able to walk along a balance beam.

And finally..
Proprioception which is the sense of the relative position of neighbouring parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement. This sense is very important as it lets us know exactly where our body parts are, how we are positioned in space and to plan our movements. Examples of our proprioception in practice include being able to clap our hands together with our eyes closed, write with a pencil and apply with correct pressure, and navigate through a narrow space.

4. Some people say that hair and fingernails still grow when a person is dead. This is not true, and is actually rather the skin dying and shrinking away, giving the effect of growth.

5. You don’t need to drink 8 glasses of water a day, to maintain good health. The amount of water your body requires is down to your weight, activity level and environment. It also doesn’t necessarily matter if the water comes from what is put into your tea, juice and fruit & veg.

So maybe we shouldn’t believe everything we hear..

20 Things Retail Workers Have To Put Up With

Luckily I no longer work in retail, but here are some of the things that retail workers have to put up with, and reasons why you should give them a break.

1. Ridiculous hours. Just because the store closes at a certain time, it doesn’t mean we can leave.
Oh no.. We will be here another hour or so after, tidying up the mess you shoppers have made. 5am starts one day, to a midnight finish the next. And don’t forget the overnight shifts. Replenishing stock, dressing mannequins, moving everything around. It’s no walk in the park.

2. Inconsiderate customers.
They can see you tidying up a certain area, and will come over to pick things up and then drop them again, making no attempt to fold it or put it back how it was. Thanks for that.

3. Till trouble. There is a massive que at the tills, and it always seems to be your customers that have the most items. They chuck it all on your till, and then present you with out of date vouchers, cards that decline, and then eventually end up paying in annoyingly small change, whilst you have to stand there and be patient.

4. An aching body. We are on our feet all day. And I mean all day. We can’t sit down when we fancy and have a little rest. We are forced to stay on our feet looking presentable to meet and help the customers.

5. Christmas hours. It would be amazing for us to have a few days off over Christmas but no. Boxing Day sales are madness and we are forced to work them, starting at 5-6am of course!

6. Everything is our fault. Why don’t you have this item left in my size? How ridiculous! Blah blah blah.
It’s not our fault, we are here to help you, but we don’t control the stock levels. I’m sorry we don’t have it but please don’t shout at me.

7. Lunch breaks are never taken. Just as you clock out to go on your break, you can guarantee, that when your walking through the shop floor to go out and get something to eat, that you will be stopped by customers and quizzed about an item. I’m on my break! Can’t you see I have my personal belongings with me?

8. No toilet breaks. We can’t just nip to the loo if we need it. We have to wait until another member of staff can cover our position. And believe me, it’s never straight away. If your short staffed you may even have to wait until the next person starts their shift.

9. You have to look good. If working in a fashion store, with most you have to wear their new products to promote them. You must always look good. You can’t come in looking untidy or there will be a problem.

10. You don’t get a weekend. It’s alright for the ones who have a 9-5 weekday job, but for retail workers we can’t choose our hours. We get what we’re given, which means unsociable hours and working weekends, whilst our family and friends are at home relaxing or out having fun.

11. Smiling. Even if we are ill, have just found out we can’t have that weekend off we wanted or have just been verbally abused by a customer, we must still smile and be over enthusiastic.

12. Low pay. We work long hours, for a very low pay.

13. We have many jobs. We come in for a shift, and don’t even know what it is we will be doing. We could be on the tills, in the stock room, on the fitting rooms, at the front of the store greeting people, or any other job that we are given.

14. We are also cleaners. If a child is in the store and spills their drink everywhere then we have to clean it up. If you decide to drop litter then we also have to pick up after you.

15. We are expected to be available at all times. If we have a day off, we can expect a call from our manager asking us to come in as a colleague has called in sick.

16. We never leave on time. We are due to finish our shift at 8pm, but are stuck with a customer, or on the tills with a big que and no one to take over our position.

17. The music. There is normally one or two cd’s that are played on loop throughout the day, which means we are hearing the same song over and over again driving us insane.

18. Flirty customers. Just because we have helped you find an outfit that is right for you, and given our opinion on the clothing you have tried on, does not mean we are into you. It’s our job to be polite.

19. Crying children. Children that are running riot around the store, and then throwing a tantrum and screaming whilst you are trying to help a customer or concentrate on what you are doing.

20. Messy fitting rooms. It is unbelievable the amount of clothes that people try on and then dump in the doing room without the decency to hand it back to a member of staff. Let alone the litter they leave behind.

So next time you are out shopping and they don’t have your size, or you feel the need to complain about something; just stop for a second and think about the people you are complaining too. Retail workers are human too, and only put up with bad treatment because it is their job to help you.

 

If All Living Things Could Talk

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Imagine how cool it would be if living things could talk. I mean take animals for example.. you could have any pet and you wouldn’t need to worry about being alone again.
You could have a pet goldfish and as it’s swimming around in its bowl, you’d hear it say ‘hey can you clean my water bowl? it’s getting kinda dirty in here’ and you could be like ‘oh I’m sorry buddy, I didn’t realise, shit.. I forget your not just a fish, I mean you have feelings and crap too’ and the fish could say ‘hey it’s alright, don’t feel bad about it man, I know your busy, but you know..when you get the time i’d really appreciate it’

And dogs.. If they could talk and even text! You can imagine being out and getting a message from your dog like ‘oh god, please don’t be mad at me but I erm heard a noise, and I kinda freaked out a little, and you know that new vase you bought, well I ran into the cabinet and it fell on the floor and smashed! Man I am so sorry!! I tried to sort of clean it up but then I panicked and took a shit on the floor.. And now, well.. It’s just a mess in here bro, I’m sorry.. If you want me to live in my kennel for a while I totally understand’…

You’d be able to understand your pets and know their thoughts, I mean, it would just be awesome.

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You could be in the bathroom, and see a spider creeping across the floor and scream! Then the spider would say ‘oh, I didn’t know you was in here, I’m sorry, I’ll go wait outside until your done.. I just wanted to check out your new shower curtains.. I heard they’re pretty awesome’ then you could say ‘oh hey, don’t worry about it, you weren’t to know I was in here.. I’m nearly done bro, just stay over by the corner, I mean I don’t wanna step on you or anything’.. And the spider would say ‘of course man I’ll go right over here outta your way.. I’m really sorry again, god I’m so embarrassed’

And imagine if trees could talk..
You could be playing outside as a kid and decide to climb a tree.. You could approach one, and the tree would be like ‘oh not today, I’m sorry it’s just that my branches have been really aching today, but you know what? I’m sure my buddy over there with a lot of leaves wouldn’t mind!’

Imagine the awesomeness of life, if you could just communicate with all living things other than just humans.

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Vegetarianism/ My Battle

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I was a chubby child, not too extreme but I was bigger than the average. I used to snack endlessly when I could get away with it, and fill myself up on my Nan’s big dinners. On days out with my dad we would pig out on McDonald’s, and I was addicted to cheeseburgers. My dad actually nicknamed me ‘cheeseburger head’ for years.
When I stayed with my nan, every morning I would be awoken with a bacon sandwich.
Family’s meals out, I would order as much meat as I could..

One Sunday when I was ten my mum was cooking roast beef dinner, I remember how much I was looking forward to it.
Whilst waiting for dinner I was watching the program ‘kill it cook it eat it’ which happened to be on.
I watched the people on the program hang a cow upside down, slice it’s stomach open and pull it’s guts out whilst the cow was still alive.

From that moment my whole thought process on what I was eating changed, I sat and watched whilst a burger was made and I saw the remains of the cow rot away.
When dinner was ready I looked at my plate, pushed it away and said “no thanks mum, I will never eat meat again as long as I live”
No one supported me in my decision as they felt it wouldn’t last due to my eating routine before this moment.

9 years went past where I didn’t give meat a second thought, don’t get me wrong cutting meat out of my diet and the complete change made me severely ill. I lost over 4 stone during this period, and I became gaunt and freakishly skinny. I used to faint at school constantly and always felt run down and had no energy. I became anemic due to lack of iron, and my bones became weaker.

At first I took the loss of weight as a positive, and ended up cutting more and more food out of my diet, until the point I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and couldn’t cope with daily life.
I got help and in time I managed to regain a healthy diet and weight and I felt a lot better in myself, the support of my friends made me realise what I was doing, and without them I wouldn’t be where I am today.

My point is, the media scares me. It can influence you in so many ways and you won’t even realise it until it’s too late.

To whoever is reading this, you are perfect the way you are and only you can look after yourself, do it, before things get out of control like they did with me.

Look after yourself!

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