15 Things We All Believed As Kids

Apart from believing in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny and so on.. There are many other things that most of us believed as children. 

See if any of these ring a bell..

  1.  If you swallow chewing gum it will get wrapped around your heart, and stay in your stomach for seven years.
  2.  If you eat your crusts you will get curly hair.
  3. When in the bath, have your feet at the tap end. Because a monster lives in the plug hole and it could come out.
  4.  When an actor died in a film they died in real life as well.
  5.   If you misbehave the bogey man will come and take you away.
  6. Your cuddly toys came to life when you weren’t there.
  7.  Duvets and blankets protected you from monsters.
  8. Visiting your grandparents was the best treat ever, and you would look forward to the big home made meals and the mountain of sweet treats!
  9. You could never have too many stuffed toys, and would never grow too old for them.
  10. The opposite gender was ‘smelly’ and you wouldn’t be seen dead talking to them.
  11. If you tell lies your nose will grow longer.
  12. If you sat too close to the TV you would get square eyes.
  13. Members of your family could easily pinch your nose off your face with one grab.
  14. If you hold a buttercup under your chin, and your chin glows yellow then you love butter.
  15. The five second rule – if you drop food on the floor, you can still pick it up and eat it before 5 seconds.
(Who else still believes this one? Just me? Oh..)
 
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When Did You Feel Grown Up?

When does the time come when we wake up one day and feel like an adult..

I remember living at home and I used to pretty much live within the four walls of my bedroom. My mum used to call me horizontal Hetti as I was always lying down watching TV in bed. I would never get up and do anything unless I was going out because I had too.

I thought maybe once I left college, left home and started working full time I would feel grown up. But it doesn’t feel like it’s got to that point yet.

I still have mood swings and can throw tantrums and sometimes I just want to build a den and hide there instead of going to work.

But some people never feel grown up. I guess the responsibilities of having kids or getting married can make a big difference but who knows?

I know many people in there 40’s/50’s plus who are much more immature than I am, and act like massive kids. And it’s great! They are just being themselves and aren’t worried about fitting in with society’s expectations of behaviour. 

I still feel very young but that can change depending on who I am with at the time.

I wonder if we ever feel ‘grown up’..

Children’s Shows From The 90’s

When I come across the current day kids TV shows, it brings me back to my childhood years. It is surprising how much children’s daytime television has actually changed over the years. Here is a list of my 43  favourite kids shows from when I was young: 

1. Bodger & Badger Who couldn’t love this show? I thought it was hilarious, and I only ate mash potato at dinner times because badger did! This show is the reason I didn’t turn my nose up at it.

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2. Playdays Oh how I loved Whybird and this program, it kept me entertained for hours!

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3. Rosie & Jim This had an annoyingly catchy theme tune which I would sing along too.

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5. Raggy Dolls This program was set in a doll factory, and dolls were put into the reject bin if they were not ‘perfect’ the dolls then came to life when humans were not around. The theme tune to this program reassured children that it’s okay to be different and not fit in with everybody else. If you listen to the words it’s actually really inspiring.

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6. Mr Men As well as never missing an episode of Mr Men, I had every single book and would read one before bedtime every night.

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7. Spider Arhh I have always been terrified of spiders, but this program made the fear slightly easier.

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8. Williams Wish Wellingtons Ahh young William, and his magical red welly boots, that granted him any wish he wanted when he was wearing them. If only that could be true!

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9. Topsy & Tim This included every day things such as going shopping and swimming, and revolved around the two siblings and their lives.

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10. Mr Benn This is a good one to look back on, because this was before the times of moving cartoons and images. This show consists of just drawings and voice overs. There are no moving images at all. The program was about Mr Benn who had a new job and outfit every day and would keep taking on a new role such as a spaceman.

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11. Tots TV I’m at Tot ‘Je Suis Un Tot. Tilly, Tom and Tiny! Whilst hard to understand at times, these characters were adorable!

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12. Pinky And The Brain This show was about two mice in a lab. Brain was smart, whilst Pinky was not so intelligent. Brain was always trying to take over the world but always failed somewhat.

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13. Come Outside The sweet auntie Mabel and her dog Pippin, always went on a new adventure every day. This show was to teach children about the world and different environments. It was both fun and educational.

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14. Spot The Dog A learning show where Spot would have adventures. This dog was extremely popular, and the TV show was made in addition to the books.

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15. Scooby Doo Another really popular program where a group of friends – Daphne, Fred, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby Doo, would go on missions to uncover the truth and resolve mysteries in the mystery van. Those meddling kids.. scooby-doo-scooby-doo-25193307-1456-1092 16. Arthur This show was about an 8 year old animal character Arthur and his friends, and showed how they interacted with each other. This was an educational program.

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17. Rainbow Rainbow consisted of characters including Zippy, George, Bundle and Geoffrey. The program included lots of songs and stories.

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18. Oakie Doke Oakie Doke was a friendly character made up of an acorn head and lead body. He lived in an oak tree and everyone in the forest looked up to him, because he would always sort any problems out. OAKIE 19. Bump The Elephant Bump was a clumsy elephant who always had a plaster on his forehead. He had a little friend called Birdie who was a bluebird and would give Bump advice to stop being so clumsy. bump3 20. The Wild Thornberrys This show was educational and is about a family who travel all around the world filming exotic animals. The main character Eliza can speak to the animals and her best friend is a monkey. WILD 21. Bananas In Pyamas The two twin bananas B1 and B2 live in a neighbourhood with their friends. They all have different jobs, and have adventures together. BA 22. Barney Barney was a big purple dinosaur who had many dinosaur friends. He sent out educational messages throughout the song and danced.

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23. ZZZap I thought this program was ever so fun as it was like a big comic that had come to life. It showed different clips of various things.

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24. Mona The Vampire Mona and her friends always go on new adventures where they imagine the supernatural and fight against them. They all look like normal children, until they are faced with the supernatural and then their real selves are shown.

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25. Catdog This program was so weird as it was about conjoined brothers, one which was cat and one a dog.

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26. Cow And Chicken Cow and chicken are two very unlikely siblings with human parents. The program was very funny and random. COW 27. Dennis The Menace One of my favourites! A bunch of rebellious kids, who annoy their parents and are always getting into trouble. Dennis causes absolute chaos and his parents are never happy with him. But it sure gave us a  laugh to watch!

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28. Dexters Lab Dexter is a boy genius with a secret lab which he creates his inventions in. He has a sister called Dee-Dee who always finds a way into the lab even though Dexter tries to keep her out. Dexter-dexters-laboratory-13130849-445-567 29.The Flinstones This show was based in the stone she and shows a working class family and how they live their lives. Fred Flinstone had a best friend called Barney who was his neighbour and they would always hang out together, also with both of their wives.

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30. Fireman Sam This show is about Sam and his fellow fireman and the people that live in the town with them. Sam is always there to save the day when something goes wrong.

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31. Huxley Pig Huxley is a pig who would always dream about adventures. He had a friend called Sam who was a seagull, and when Huxley went off into a daydream Sam would be able to speak.

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32. Hey Arnold Arnold is a kid who lives with his grandparents and the show focuses on him and his friends in their day to day lives.

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33. Johnny Bravo Johnny bravo is a beefcake of a man, muscular with a big blonde hairdo, and he is always trying to hit on women.

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34. Kipper The Dog Kipper is a talking orange dog with many friends. He is very kind and has a best friend called Tiger. Kipper 35. Meg And Mog Meg is a witch who is always casting spells that never seem to go to plan. She has a best friend called Mog who is a cat. A typical witches best friend.

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36.Postman Pat Pat is a friendly postman who always takes the time to chat with his neighbours whilst on the job. He has a black and white cat called Jess.

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37.Paddington Bear Paddington was obsessed with marmalade, and carried a battered suitcase around with him. He wore a blue coat and had a red hat.

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38. Pingu The cute little penguin and his family. This show was about Pingu and his life, playing with his friends, and communicating in penguin language that we couldn’t understand, but it was fun to watch.

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39.The Powderpuff Girls Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are three sisters that all have different superpowers. Their father is a scientist and their mayor is always calling them to come and help by fighting criminals such as the evil monkey Mojo Jojo with their powers.

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40. Rugrats Rugrats is a show based on a group of toddlers called: Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Tommy’s big sister Angelica. The toddlers always seem to get up to mischief, and Angelica is a bit of a minx.

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41. Rupert The Bear Rupert was known for wearing a red jumper, bright yellow checked trousers with a matching scarf. Rupert lived with his parents and had lots of animal friends.

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42. Bear In The Big Blue House I loved this program and the goodbye song where bear used to sing to the moon featured at the end of each episode always used to make me sad.

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43. Brum This cheeky little yellow car, with eyes made of headlights, used to drive itself around everywhere when it’s owners back was turned. Brum expressed himself by controlling his doors and bonnet and making typical car noises. Brum-pedal-car-md

Things Your Mother Used To Say To You

Do you ever look back at your childhood and think about the things your mum used to always say to you?

Here are some of the things I can remember my mum saying to me.

1. Go to your room

2. Wait and see

3. Ask your father

4. Say pardon, not ‘what’

5. Back in my day

6. What did your last slave day of?

7. No pudding until you’ve eaten all your dinner

8. I’ve told you so many times

9. You’ll have someones eye out with that

10. If someone asked you to jump off a cliff, would you?

11. I want never gets

12. Trust me, it will all end in tears

13. If you eat all your carrots, you’ll be able to see in the dark

14. Who is she, the cats mother?

15. Don’t pull that face, if the wind changes it will stay like that forever

16. If you sit that close to the TV you’ll get square eyes

17. Don’t say I didn’t warn you

18. Take your coat off when you get inside or you won’t feel the benefit when you go outside

19. Close the door, you weren’t born in a barn

20. Because I said so

21. There is no such word as can’t

22. I don’t care if your dying, you’re going to school

Who remembers their mum saying similar things?

My Ultimate March Playlist!

I am a huge fan of dance/trance tracks, and often burn my own CD’s to play in the car.

Here is a list of my all time favourite tracks that I have come across in March 2015.

If you haven’t heard these yet, I would recommend giving them a listen!

1. I Can’t Stop Drinking About You (Chain Smokers remix)

2. Faded – Zhu

3. Julian (Chain Smokers temix)

4. Wasting My Young Years (Sound Remedy remix)

5. I Loved You – Blonde ft Melissa Steel

6. Cast A Spell – Blonde vs PianoMan

7. Rumours – Pep and Rash

8. Can’t Stop Playing – Oliver Heldens

9. They Don’t Know – Disciples

10. King – Years And Years

11. GDFR – Flo Rida

12. Sleep (Conrad Hills remix)

13. Pray To God – Calvin Harris

These are awesome tunes to play in the car, and to listen to when your out and about!

The Obsession With Video Games

Video games are an unhealthy part of our entertainment and the popularity of it, is rapidly increasing. 

How many kids do you know, lock themselves away in their room to play video games? And aren’t at all bothered about the lack of social interaction that they are missing out on.

I have never owned an Xbox or a Playstation, but I did own Gameboys and a Nintendo DSI. 

By using these devices constantly I also used to hide from social interaction, and missed out on a lot of things because I couldn’t take my eyes away from the screen. It is a very unhealthy addiction.

Then again it is typical for teenagers.

Some people grow out of this, and eventually lose interest, but others carry it on into late adulthood.

My partner has always been a fan of the Xbox. I count myself lucky though as he doesn’t have his eyes constantly glued to it, and only plays it when he has a day off, if I am working. 

He is a fan of Assassins Creed, and Grand Theft Auto.

Both these games actually interest me and I can sit and happily watch him play without being bored. I do see the attraction to playing these video games, as the graphics are pretty amazing, and the storyline and aims of playing are pretty awesome. 

What I don’t understand is how people completely cut themselves off from daily life, and miss going out and socialising with friends and family, to sit at home playing a game and ‘socialising’ with virtual friends.

That’s what puzzles me.

I guess this is how depressives can be seen, by not enjoying real life interaction, and isolating themselves from the rest of the world. 

But then again I’m sure many people who are addicted to video games are quite happy, and still have constant and positive interaction with others. 

My partner is 26 today and he has been kinda brilliant lately. He recently said one day he will treat himself and buy an Xbox One. He has also been talking non stop about a game called ‘Ryse’ don’t ask..

I have been shown the trailer at least 50 times, and whilst I must admit that the graphics in this game are pretty damn amazing! It is not something I would sit and play myself.

I thought instead of doing the usual for his birthday, which would be a meal and a hotel for the night, and buying aftershave and loads of clothes that he’ll probably never wear; why not splash out and get him something he wants more than anything. 

Aww bless, it’s like he’s a kid all over again!

So being the awesome girlfriend I am, I went out and bought him an Xbox One and that bloody game..

Ladies and gents, don’t tell him I told you this, but he cried. 

He sat there for a good ten minutes with a look of shock on his face, then hugged the xbox, and started jumping around holding the game; and he then threw his arms around me and nearly suffocated me!

I think I can safely say he is extremely happy!

Now I better have some peace and quiet for the next few months at least!

Why Do We Say Bless You?

Here’s another strange post for you wonderful people.

Something I have been thinking about today, is why do we say bless you when someone sneezes?

We don’t say cough you when someone coughs (well I do occasionally if I’m a bizarre mood) or anything when someone makes another noise such as blowing their noise or burping.

So why do we say bless you when someone sneezes?

If I am out in public and a person standing close to me sneezes, then I automatically say bless you as I would feel extremely rude not too.

Thinking about it, this is really strange.

I have researched the reasoning behind this, and found that sneezing was associated with ‘illness’ meaning when someone sneezed you wouldn’t ignore this as it could be a sign of bad health. This is going back many years ago, when it was a sign to worry, but now we know that sneezing doesn’t mean we have to worry. For example it is common to sneeze after smelling a scent, as we can react to the particles that enter our nostrils. 

Now saying ‘bless you’ is just common courtesy, and this tradition has never really ended.

Your Simple Guide To Happiness

We all struggle to feel good about ourselves from time to time, so I have come up with a list of things we can do to make things seem a bit more positive. It’s not all bad you know..

1. Boost your confidence.

The first week of the month, is always worrying as we set ourselves expectations for the month ahead, and it seems like a mission to get there. Instead of worrying about things to come, look at what you achieved last month, and the problems you have overcome. Be it a row with your boss that you managed to get over, something that has annoyed you that you managed to move on from, getting over a fear or worry that you had, or reaching a goal that has taken you a while to achieve. There is always something that you can be proud of.

2. Spend wisely. 

Yay! It’s payday! But before you do your usual, of spending it on all the latest clothes and accessories and blowing your wages within the first week. Do something good for you. Get a facial or a massage, treat yourself to a new hair cut or colour; or go out for a meal with friends and socialise. Surveys have shown that people who spend their money on socialising with friends or their partner, do not regret wasting that money, as they have got an experience out of it. Those who waste it all on clothes, look back at the end of the month and regret spending that money.

3. Plan a holiday.

We ALL need a break. Even if you just go away for a weekend, or spend one week away. It gives you a well deserved break, time to relax, and something to look forward to throughout the year. Search for cheap deals online, and you can get a real bargain!

4. Find some you time.

You don’t have to spend every night with your loved one. Set aside an evening here and there where you can do what you want to do. Download a fitness app, do some exercises, or download a meditation app where you will be at peace, and feel completely relaxed and positive after.

5. Post something positive.

The majority of us all have an Instagram or a Facebook account that we post on now and again. Instead of trying to grab attention by posting something negative, and waiting for the comments to roll in; post something nice. Something you are looking forward to, a photo or a quote that makes you happy. Just something to show your not all doom and gloom.

6. Get cosy.

It’s getting colder. Grab yourself a faux fur blanket, a thick fleecy dressing gown, or something made out of cashmere wool. Textures that are soft have been found to be emotionally comforting, so grab yourself a cup of tea, stock up and snuggle up!

7. Keep tidy. 

I know. It can be hard to find the time to keep your bedroom tidy. But making your bed every morning, bringing the cups down when you have finished with them, and picking up your socks from the middle of the floor, will save time when you get in from work, and you can just relax without wasting your evening picking up clutter. Having control of the little things in our lives, helps us to feel more in charge just generally.

8. Get shaking.

This is funner than you think! When we are stressed out, the neurones in our brain are messed up, but if you shake yourself about, it will trigger a relaxation response. So dance around to your favourite song! Bounce around, and shake your arms and legs! Trust me, it will bring a positive impact!

9. Give yourself some vitamins.

Lacking energy? Feel drained and tired? You are probably lacking in vitamins. Make an appointment with your doctor to find out what vitamins you are lacking in, and buy some tablets. It could be B12 you need, Vitamin C, or even Zinc. If you can’t get these vitamins from the food you eat, then it is important you are getting in some other way, such as taking these supplements.

10. Be kind to a stranger.

Is there someone standing on the bus or train because there are no seats left? Offer them yours! Are there homeless people that you walk past every day, without giving them a second look? Give them your spare change, or buy them a coffee! Most people will really appreciate your generosity and it will put a smile on your face aswell as theirs! Give yourself a reason to feel proud!

11. Put your health first.

Every now and then, swap that chocolate bar for a piece of fruit, and that glass of coke for a glass of water. This will benefit you in so many ways, such as improving your skin, giving you more energy, and feeling better all round.

12. Go for a jog one evening. 

It’s amazing how going for a run can put you in such a good mood. Yes it’s hard if you have never done it before, but start slowly and push yourself, and you will come back aching, but feeling good! You feel like you have done something worthwhile, and can sit back and relax when you get in, feeling  good about yourself, and your frame of mind will be more positive than before! Really!

13. Keep a diary. 

It’s been proven that we remember negative things more than the positive, and this is such a shame. Keeping a diary, will help you to remember the good things that have happened, and when you are feeling down you can look back through it and read memories that will bring a smile to your face.

14. Have a duvet day.

What a brilliant idea, I hear you say! We all love being lazy now and again, so one weekend spend a day doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Yep, zero, zilch. Stay in bed and have a day of watching your favourite films, surfing the web on your laptop, or chilling to music. It will help you to completely relax, and you go back to work feeling like you have actually had break for once!

15. Get some fresh air.

Put on your winter jacket and boots, and go outside for a walk. You don’t have to be out for long, but getting just 20 minutes of fresh air, will help to clear your mind. Also there are always things to see along the way, be it a beautiful sky or flowers if your into nature, and you can always snap a few photos of your sights.

16. Clear out your wardrobe.

Admit it. You have waaay more clothes than you need, and you haven’t worn half of them in years! Get them out and sort out what you don’t want anymore. Give them to charity or sell them! You will have a lot more free room in your wardrobe, and it won’t be so stressful finding an outfit as you can actually see what you have.

27 Things That Happened At A Pre Teen Girls Sleepover

Ah the joys of being young and single. When you and the girlies would have weekly sleepovers. At first you would plan to have a sleepover with one friend, but once the rest of your group catches whiff, they would end up inviting themselves along. Then come the stages of begging your mum for days if it can be hosted at your house.

“You can have one friend stay over only, and I have to speak to her mum first to make sure it’s okay” What that really meant was, I have never met this friend before or spoken to her parents, so I must call to make sure they are not psychopaths, that way I know their child won’t be a problem. Stop being so annoying mum! You beg for ages, and end up resulting in literally being on your knees, making all kinds of promises to do the washing up for a week, all the housework, walk the dog, and clean her car, aswell as the bathroom. In the end she gives in, under the circumstance that you will all go to bed at 10pm, not make a mess, and keep the noise down.

RESULT!

You text all your friends to tell them the good news, making out your mum was ‘cool’ about it the whole time. Then that Friday or Saturday night comes..

1. You put on your favourite T-shirt, and attempt to crinkle your hair. Cute.

2. They all turn up one by one, with their bright coloured sleeping bags, and a bag full of films and snacks.

3. You start off extremely hyper, and all agree to do an ‘all nighter’ What a fantastic idea! Staying awake ALL night, causing mayhem and not getting any sleep! What’s better than that? Oh dear..

4. Your mum has already bought the sugar supplies. Cherryade, Cream Soda, Lemonade, Ice Cream, Haribos, Strawberry Laces, Chocolate. Thanks mum!

5. You decide to order a pizza. Again your mum has to get her purse out and do the dirty work for you. It was expected of her of course, so a thank you was not in the question. You decide you have to have more pizzas than necessary, a ridiculous amount of toppings, and all the sides. Well garlic bread and chicken strips are just so nice!

6. You have already gathered up a collection of your favourite dvd’s. Mean girls, the Scary Movie collection, shh don’t tell mum, and many others that you have seen a hundred times over.

7. Your friends also bring a collection of films, one of them particulary has an obsession with horror films.

8. Your mum walks in as you are trying to put Scary Movie on. “Turn that off right now! I can see the 15 certificate, you are not old enough! What will your friends parents say?” Jesus mum, it’s no big deal, all the other parents allow it!

9. You over eat, to the point where you are literally about to sick. You can feel the pizza, pop and sweets churning around your stomach and you vow not to eat anymore, but find yourself picking 10 minutes later.

10. You all get your pyjamas out, and compare them to see who has the coolest. They are all pretty babyish, but you have chosen your favourite ones that you think are grown up.

11. You do each others hair and make up and get the disposable camera out to capture the moment.

12. You have all purchased a face mask each (usually from Superdrug) there is a selection between chocolate, strawberry smoothie, cooling cucumber, tropical cocktail, you name it.. From heating to clay masks they are all there.

13. You put your face masks on and play a game of truth or dare. You end up texting something embarrassingly cringy to your crush, and before you know it you have told your friends about the time you wet the bed,  and have put a mixture of sweets into your drink and downed it. Now you feel even more ill..

14. You all think it’s a great idea to go and jump on the bed whilst throwing pillows at each other! Yes this really did happen.

15. You take it in turns to log onto MSN and update your status, including every girl at the sleepovers name with a heart next to it, and let everyone on your friends list know what a great time your having, and all the silly things you have got up to so far! Cooooool..

16. You all then confess which boy you fancy, and tell each other how you are going to get him to ‘ask you out’.

17. After another few glasses of cherryade you are dancing around the house! You are literally high on sugar.

18. Of course, you happen to have marshmallows, and heat chocolate up so you can dip them into it. YUMMY! 

19. When the marshmallow dipping gets too sickly, you then decide to have a contest of ‘chubby bunnies’ and fill your mouth with as many marshmallows as possible; making it impossible to actually eat them all.

20. The diaries come out, and you all tell each other your BIGGEST secrets.

21. Someone gets too hyper and knocks the cherryade over and stains the carpet. Oh no! Quick put something over it to hide it from mum!

22. You prank call the boys, looking through your address book with all their home numbers in. SO FUNNY! They’ll never know it’s us!

23. You all get into your sleeping bags and put a film on, and say your going to sleep.

24. Of course this doesn’t happen, and you all get giggly and start shouting, causing your mum to come down and say that if you don’t all quieten down, they can go home!

25. Someone starts complaining that they have eaten too much and are going to be sick. Egh who invited them? Wimp..

26. Someone falls asleep first, and you all decide it would be a BRILLIANT idea to draw on their face and write a silly word across their forehead such as ‘loser’ your all too funny!!

27. You then all finally get to sleep, leaving the TV on fall blast, and the room in an utter state..

20 Things Girls Say VS What They Actually Mean

We women are confusing creatures. We are not simple and can be annoyingly difficult.
It is hard for men to understand women an awful lot of the time, due to men not always being able to pick up hints that we think we are dropping. Sometimes we think that men should know what we are really thinking, even if that is the opposite to what we are saying.

For example if I say to my boyfriend ‘you can have that last slice of pizza’ what I really mean is – I really want that last slice, but I don’t want to seem greedy and I am trying to be nice, please say no and insist on me eating it. True story.
Sometimes it is easier for us to beat around the bush, rather than coming out and saying what we are actually thinking, as we worry about the reaction we will get and how we are portraying ourselves.
It’s silly isn’t it?

Here are some common things that we women say, and what we actually mean.

1. I’m not hungry at the moment.

I can’t think of what I fancy to eat, but if you start eating, I will want what your having and will soon join in and take your food, and don’t you dare moan about it.

2. I feel ugly today. 

Please reassure me and tell me that I look nice, I just need some comfort and sympathy.

3. You’ve forgotten when my birthday is?

You better be joking, or start running as I am about to kick your ass.

4. It’s fine.

It is most certainly not okay. We need to talk about this for a long period of time until you have apologised for whatever it is you have done and give me a damn good reason.

5. I don’t know why other girls don’t like me much.

I am a bit of a bitch, okay I admit it. But I just want to seem nice and a good person so you don’t think bad of me.

6. I forgive you.

Nope. Any time I make a mistake which is not as bad as this, I will be bringing this up to throw back in your face. This is not forgotten. Oh hell no. 

7. Do you think she’s pretty?

Even if she’s a goddamn supermodel, you better point out a flaw, and tell me she ‘isn’t your type’.

8. I’ll be ready in five minutes.

I just need to re-do my hair and make up, get my bag sorted, and look in the mirror another thousand times before I can leave the house, and then go running back in to make sure all appliances are turned off.

9. I’m not drinking tonight.

Well I can have one.. 5 drinks later and I’m toooo drunk.

10. I won’t tell anyone.

Well just my best friend of course, and anyone else who brings up a similar subject and I want to get involved. Oh and maybe my mum.

11. Being a girl sucks.

I am on my period, please make me feel comfortable, bring me chocolate and entertain me.

12. Do you think I’m too emotional?

Am I crazy? Please tell me? Am I insane? What do you think of me?

13. Am I over reacting?

I know I am, but please tell me your on my side and that you agree with me, so I don’t feel like I’m a lunatic.

14. I have nothing to wear.

My wardrobe is so full of clothes, I don’t know where to start. I need something new so I don’t have to dig through everything I own.

15. I woke up like this.

I spent ages getting ready. You must believe that this is my ‘natural’ look.

16. It’s up to you.

Careful. This is a test. In actual fact it is not up to you, and the next few words you utter, better be well thought out before answering. You must answer so it looks like it is your decision, but think very carefully about how she would answer, if it was her choice. You must answer as if it her that makes the decision, but the words need to come from your mouth. This will make you look caring and considerate, and also like you have the same interests.

17. I’ll just pop in, I won’t be a moment.

Cancel all your plans. If she’s not distracted by something then she will find a reason to drag the process out and end up spending half the day there. 

18. Have fun tonight.

Don’t you dare even look at another girl, let alone talk to her. I will find out.

19. Leave me alone.

Just go away for two minutes and let me calm down. Then come back, give me cuddles and tell me everything is going to be okay.

20. We need to talk.

You better think of everything you could have possibly done wrong, forgotten birthday? Anniversary? Whatever it is, it’s about to kick off. Rack your brains and be ready to be apologetic.

Ugh Women…

And there you have our secret.
This is the art of decoding what we really mean.
Use it wisely!