Attachment/Losing Yourself?

It’s weird to think that when your in a long term relationship you can forget who you really are. You can be so used to being known as ‘a couple’ ‘a pair’ or ‘a duo’ that you can lose yourself in the process.
Decisions you make aren’t always down to just you. Decisions are normally joint.
What are we going to do tonight? What shall we do this weekend? What are we having for dinner? You can end up changing your normal decisions and plans because it is not just you, you are planing and deciding for. Your partner is such a huge part of your life that it impacts the way you think.
I’m not saying this is always a bad thing. I am in a long term relationship, and I think it’s quite nice to plan for us both.
What film can I get for us to watch tonight? What’s out in the cinema that we would both like to go and watch? What restaurant could we go to?
If I was single, I couldn’t imagine my life being anywhere near as interesting..
‘Ahh I can’t be bothered to cook for just me, I’ll just have something quick and easy’
‘Ooh that new film out looks good, but I’ll wait until it’s out on DVD as it’s not fun going to the cinema on your own’

I don’t have many friends to go out with anymore so it’s different if you do, because you can spend your time with them and involve them in what you do.

I have also suffered with social anxiety for years, so the thought of going to the cinema alone or eating alone is terrifying for me, and I would never even consider it. I know people who do, so it can’t be that out of the ordinary as I would think.

Being in a relationship means give and take. You have to consider your partners point of view and decisions and respect them as you would wish they do for you.


2 thoughts on “Attachment/Losing Yourself?

  1. Antelune says:

    Thanks for this post! I really understand how you feel about relationships and being alone. I’ve also had social anxiety for years but I didn’t know it. I used to be terrified of being alone. I’m not sure if you’re Christian (or of another faith) but I find that what helps now is knowing that when I’m alone, I’m with God đŸ™‚


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