What I wanted to be when I grew older changed constantly when I was young. I remember at one stage I really wanted to be a singer, this lasted for several weeks, I used to sing at friends birthdays, lock myself away in my room and belt out the latest pop songs. It wasn’t until the horror of one day when I turned around and was faced with my mum, holding a video camera laughing hysterically. She had filmed me singing to a Dido track, who I was massively obsessed with at the time. I was so embarrassed I slammed the door shut and never sang again.
The next week I wanted to be a real life superhero, (I know right) I named myself Lauren Green flyer, I remember sitting in my Nan’s front room with a sketchbook twice the size of me, designing costumes that I would wear. I used to dream at night about being a hero, and helping people that were in danger, and feeling like a true champion. At this age I never had many friends and was quiet at school so I guess this is where the dream world came from.
As a child I used to really enjoy going to Homebase or B&Q with my parents and help pick out decorations and new items for the house. I felt the size of an ant walking around the large stores getting lost in it all. As ridiculous as this sounds I believed it would be amazing to work in a store such as B&Q. I thought this because I felt like there was never an end, and I used to get so excited and run off in the store and get lost. This was my weirdest ambition yet.
(In my defence the above three were dreams I had when I was in primary school so I was no older than 10)
When I started secondary school, in my second year, English class was my favourite. I had the nicest teacher and I used to enjoy the lessons because I felt like I was actually achieving something. One of our projects was to write a chapter of a story based on anything we wanted; I chose to base mine on real life situations, my story was about a girl who’s mum had an illness and had no memories stored, and the ones she did were altered and deceiving. I finished the first chapter of the story as I was meant to but I couldn’t stop. Within two months of constantly obsessing, I had wrote a whole book. I titled it ‘All Alone’ I had never felt so proud, I gave it to my teacher and asked her to read it, and she was blown away. I remember her exact words when she finished the book. “This is the most inspiring and well written book I have ever read, for someone of your age this is incredible and I highly recommend you look into getting it published. I was so happy and to this day I still have the original copy of the book at my mums house.
I thought about becoming a writer, but as I do with most things I let my confidence get in the way and didn’t feel I could ever be good enough, so gave up on that dream.